Religious Studies Spring progress Test: Relationships REvision
For your progress test you will need to revise around the following topics of study.
The family
Marriage
Sex outside of marriage
Homosexuality
The family
- Different types of family units
- Roles within the family
- Why the traditional nuclear family is in decline
- Why families are important to faith communities
- YOU MUST BE ABLE TO REFER TO RELIGIOUS TEACHINGS AND SCRIPTURE
Marriage
- What is meant by love?
- The meaning of agape
- Love as described in Corinthians
- The purpose of marriage for Christians and Buddhists
- What happens during a wedding ceremony?
- YOU MUST BE ABLE TO REFER TO RELIGIOUS TEACHINGS AND SCRIPTURE
Sex outside of marriage
- What is meant by cohabitation?
- Explain why increasing numbers are choosing to cohabit rather than to marry
- Christian and Buddhist attitudes towards sex outside of marriage and with in marriage
- Christian and Buddhist attitudes towards sex with in marriage
- YOU MUST BE ABLE TO REFER TO RELIGIOUS TEACHINGS AND SCRIPTURE
Homosexuality
- What is meant by homosexuality?
- Christian attitudes to homosexuality
- Buddhist attitudes to homosexuality
- YOU MUST BE ABLE TO REFER TO RELIGIOUS TEACHINGS AND SCRIPTURE
Christianity
Love is often used to describe a close attachment to another person. Sex means sexual intercourse between two people. Most religions have views on love and sex. The Christian Church emphasises non-sexual love.
Christian views
The Christian Church often has very strict views on love and sex. These are based on passages from the Bible. Christians are often encouraged to love one another in a non-sexual way. This type of love, sometimes called ‘agape’ is the love that Jesus showed to other people when he gave his life for them:
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No-one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
1 John 4:7-12
Christian teaching is generally that sexual intercourse is wrong unless it happenswithin a marriage. God intended men and women to live together as married couples but not to live together outside marriage.
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
1 Corinthians 6:18-19
In the Church of England the marriage service says that marriage is a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication outside marriage.
Paul says that Christians should:
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?
1 Corinthians 6:18-19
He also says that for some people it is better to be celibate than to marry:
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 7:9
Homosexuality
As well as saying that sexual relationships should only take place within marriage, Christian teaching is traditionally opposed to homosexuality:
Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
Romans 1:27
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Despite this teaching, a growing number of Christians today accept that for some people homosexual relationships are not going against God’s wishes.
BuddhismWhat does Buddhism say about sexual relationships?Buddhists try to conduct themselves in a way that will not cause suffering to others and try to always be caring and loving.
The Five Precepts are important for Buddhists when considering their attitude to sex. The third Precept states that Buddhists should not engage in sexual misconduct. This might include adultery, as being unfaithful to a partner can cause suffering, and promiscuity, which can be seen as a negative expression of craving after sexual stimulation. Sex should form part of a loving relationship (eg marriage).
Buddhists can use contraception as long as they have the Right Intention. Good motives such as responsible family planning and disease control may be accepted. Indeed, if sexual intercourse may result in an unwanted pregnancy, such suffering needs to be avoided and contraception should therefore be used.
What does this mean in practice?The Buddha taught that in many areas of life, depriving yourself of something or over indulging in something leads to suffering and dissatisfaction. He taught that The Middle Path should be followed. This can be applied to sex.
Buddhists are encouraged to enjoy sex responsibly, as a result, most Buddhists avoid being promiscuous. Chastity is not a requirement of leading a Buddhist life.
Buddhists do not see marriage as a duty and cohabitation is perfectly acceptable. As long as neither partner suffers, a Buddhist can enjoy a healthy sexual relationship.
If a man can find a suitable and understanding wife and a woman can find a suitable and understanding husband, both are fortunate indeed.
Venerable Dhammananda Maha Nayaka Thera
Marriage in Buddhism comprises of a civil ceremony that legally unites two people. Buddhist monks may bless a marriage but will not conduct the actual marriage ceremony. Therefore, the main content of Buddhist marriage ceremonies reflects the culture of the country the couple live in. This is more significant than religious content.
Most Buddhists believe the purpose of marriage is to:
- unite with someone they love or who is a good partner in other respects
- have children
- create a sound basis for their extended family, including their parents
The Five Precepts are considered an important source of authority in Buddhism. The third Precept offers guidance on how to achieve a successful marriage. 'Do not engage in sexual misconduct', instructs Buddhists to be content within marriage and not to commit adultery as this will cause suffering.
Buddhists monks choose not to marry and remain celibate while living in the monastic community. This is so that they can focus on achieving enlightenment. They understand that the demands of marriage, raising a family and working to support both, will be a distraction from the full-time effort needed to follow the Buddhist path. Monks do not have to spend the rest of their life in the monastery – they are completely free to re-enter mainstream society and some only spend a year as a monk.
The Sigalovada Sutta offers advice for Buddhist couples on how to treat each other and have a happy and successful marriage. It contains guidelines for both the wife and husband.
The husband can ensure a good relationship with his wife by:
- being attentive and courteous to her
- not looking down on her
- being faithful to her
- sharing his authority with her
- providing her with clothing, jewellery etc that she wants
- performing her household duties well
- being welcoming to all their relations
- being faithful to him
- budgeting properly within the household and protecting family resources
What does Buddhism say about cohabitation?
There are no specific references to cohabitation in Buddhist scriptures, so opinions can vary according to the culture in which Buddhism in practised. Some Buddhists accept cohabitation because:
- there is no Buddhist obligation to get married
- there is no specific Buddhist religious component to marriage in Buddhist countries
- cohabitation is not forbidden or criticised in scripture
There are no specific references about civil partnerships or same sex marriage in Buddhist scriptures therefore opinions can vary according to cultural context. Some Buddhists accept civil partnerships and same sex marriage because:
- There is no Buddhist obligation to get married; therefore Buddhists may marry who they wish.
- The second Noble Truth, 'The truth of the cause of suffering', talks about desires which can cause frustration. This means that all types of marriage can cause suffering where they are based on desire. Therefore, most Buddhists do not believe that one type of marriage causes more suffering than another.
- Many Buddhists believe that as long as the couple show each other love, then metta is being practised. It does not matter if the couple is homosexual or heterosexual.
As temples tend to not offer marital services, Buddhists will typically have a civil ceremony. There are no set vows in Buddhism therefore couples will use the vows provided at their civil ceremony or they may write their own.
Buddhists may choose to cohabit, have a civil partnership or marry. However, they must remember that any relationship may cause suffering and they must therefore practise compassion within the relationship.
What does Buddhism say about divorce and remarriage?
Most Buddhists accept divorce and remarriage because:
- there is no religious content to a marriage in between Buddhists and so 'undoing' that marriage is not a religious problem
- unhappiness may prevent the couple from achieving enlightenment
- an unhappy marriage may cause suffering, therefore Buddhists may feel divorce is the best option to avoid further suffering
- divorce may be considered a compassionate action
- remarriage can make the person happier and may cause less suffering than being alone
Buddhist couples can go to their temple and receive support and advice from monks, nuns or other members of the congregation if they are experiencing marital problems.
What does this mean in practice?
Buddhist monks or nuns may themselves have been married prior to ordination and so can often combine religious with practical advice to people who come to them to discuss problems. Like other religious professionals, they can also accumulate over the years a lot of knowledge from their congregation which they can pass on to people who are experiencing difficulties.
Married people who want to separate and divorce will always be advised to proceed with as much harmony as possible, both for the sake of their families and children, but also for their own sake. It will only hurt them if they get very angry and resentful. It will be easier for each person if they try to feel compassion for their partner.
Buddhists may also choose to divorce in order to reduce suffering and to help achieve enlightenment. They may also choose to remarry – a way of finding happiness again and reducing suffering in their lives.
Buddhist attitudes to family life
Buddhism is not a strongly family-centred religion. It does not have formal models of family or family life, or base its teachings around a family model. This is partly due to its strong focus on personal responsibility for one's own behaviour, on detachment and the individual's pursuit of enlightenment. However, in Buddhist societies families often worship and visit the temple together.
Roles of men and women in the family
Buddhists believe the Buddha left his family to pursue his quest to find out why we suffer.
Buddhist monks believe that they should be detached from the duties of family life. Only then can they focus on reaching enlightenment. However, the lay community is valued in Buddhism for the support it provides to the Sangha.
Not everyone will want to live the life of a monk and most Buddhists want to have a family. Therefore, the importance of family life in Buddhism is acknowledged and integrated into the temple and festival life, and Buddhists believe that they can practise their beliefs within the context of the family.
Buddhist family life tends to reflect pre-existing cultural and religious values, customs, and socially recognised ways or traditions within particular countries. Within Asian Buddhist cultures, for example, the male-lead family is the typical structure, with clearly defined gender roles. British Buddhists, however, might be more equal in their family roles.
Most Buddhists believe that men and women are capable of spiritual development and ultimately enlightenment.
According to the Sigalovada Sutta, within the family both the husband and wife are expected to treat each other respectfully. Them wife should manage the home and family and the husband should share authority with his wife. Partners should be monogamous (have just one partner).
Buddhist attitudes to parenting
Buddhism does not openly say that children should be born to married parents, although in most Buddhist societies parents want children. Neither do Buddhists believe that they have a duty to have children. Contraception is an acceptable choice if a Buddhist is not ready to have a child.
Cohabitation is perfectly acceptable in Buddhism. However, many Buddhists are likely to view marriage as an important commitment and a stable place for bringing up children.
Buddhists will be influenced by the culture of the country they live in. For example, an Indian Buddhist is likely to believe that children should be born to married parents, whereas a British Buddhist may not see marriage as so important.
The unconditional love of a mother for her child is held in the highest regard in Buddhism and is used as an illustration of metta in the Metta Sutta:
Just as a mother would protect her only child even at the risk of her own life, even so, let him cultivate a boundless heart towards all beings.
Metta Sutta
Duties of parents and children
The Sigalovada Sutta sets out the five traditional duties that children have to their parents:
- support them in their old age
- do as they are asked
- keep family traditions
- deserve their inheritance
- honour them after they have died
- keep them away from evil
- encourage them to do good
- provide them with a good education
- make suitable marriage arrangements for them
- give them their inheritance when they need it
In Buddhism, the family is the place where children are introduced to the faith. Parents may provide a Buddhist home with a shrine, daily meditation, puja and take children to monastery or temple, celebrating festivals, etc. In some countries the parents may send a child to spend some time in a monastery in order to learn proper behaviour from the monks.
Marriage ceremonyIn Buddhism, marriage is a purely social contract with no particular religious significance. Marriage is a choice some Buddhists make to demonstrate their commitment to each other, however some Buddhists argue that marriage is not a necessary precondition of a loving relationship. Marriage is not considered to be holy in any way. For this reason, there is no marriage ceremony in Buddhism, and marriage celebrations are linked to the culture and country in which the marriage is being celebrated. Marriage ceremonies may well be performed at a local temple for another faith.
Divorce holds no stigma in Buddhism. If a couple are no longer in love and are causing each other suffering, then divorce is acceptable to ensure that suffering is reduced.
What does Buddhism say about homosexuality?
Buddhist attitudes to homosexuality often reflect the society around them. There are a range of attitudes towards homosexuality in Buddhist countries. For example homosexuality between private and consenting adults was made legal in Thailand in 1956 (11 years before the UK) and there is no inhibition on homosexual men becoming monks. There is similar tolerance in Japan and in Chinese Buddhism. On the other hand, the Dalai Lama was once asked about his views on homosexuality:
They want me to condone homosexuality. But I am a Buddhist and, for a Buddhist, a relationship between two men is wrong. Some sexual conduct in marriage is also wrong.
Dalai Lama
He did, however, make it clear that he does not hold anything against the practice of homosexuality among non-Buddhists:
If an individual has no faith, that is a different matter. If two men really love each other and are not religious, then that is OK by me.
Dalai Lama
What does this mean in practice?
Some Buddhist orders say that the Dalai Lama is wrong - there is nothing in Buddhist teaching about homosexuality being unacceptable.
Buddhists might argue that as long as the relationship is based on love and suffering is avoided, homosexuality is a perfectly acceptable practice.
